" When this happened to me, I lost all interest in the world, my friends, my family and the things that were usually of interest to me. I felt as though my world had collapsed and that no one could possibly understand how I felt. This is the odd thing about heartache, it feels so unique, and yet we know very well that everyone experiences heartache, and in fact, they seem to experience it in very similar ways. Just listening to one sad country song will tell you how common the feelings of heartache are.
The best part of falling in love was that I was blessed with two beautiful daughters, who are now 3 and 7 years old respectively. They are my greatest loves in life and my greatest accomplishments. I love to watch them grow and learn. Every day they learn something new and I love watching them explore new things for the first time. Often, their curiosity brings to my own awareness something that I had not yet noticed about the world or that I had not paid enough attention to previously. Every day I am thankful for my daughters and the joy that they bring to my life. They inspire me to do my best in all that I do so that I can provide a happy and stable life for them, one like the life I grew up with. I hope that they will one day see that the time I spend away from them for school or for work was all for the purpose of helping them reach their own goals and become successful young women. I truly hope that they will not experience limitations in life and that they will be able to pursue whatever dreams they may have in their lives. Most of all I hope that one day they too will fall in love, meet wonderful people, build a family and have a great life that is truly one that is fulfilled and happy.
A vision toward the future
Right now, my primary goal is to complete my bachelor's of nursing. I hope that the completion of this program will allow me to find employment within an intensive care unit. After working in an intensive care unit for two years I hope that I will then be able to apply to go to anesthesia school. I find this area of work to be very interesting. It is a calming, yet very important aspect of medicine. Thus, within the next 5 years I plan to complete my bachelor's, work for 2 years and then enroll in anesthesia school. Upon finishing, I hope to find work as a nurse working with anesthesiologists. During this time, my two daughters will also be growing up. My eldest daughter will be entering her teenage years, and I hope that these are not too difficult on her, and on myself!
Five years from now, I see myself living on my own with my daughters, no longer sharing a home with my mother and sister, although I do enjoy living with them and having their assistance in raising my girls. I also hold out hope that perhaps I will be once again in love, living with someone who truly cares for me and for my daughters, although to be honest, I really see this as secondary to simply being able to provide for my daughters and create a happy and stable home environment for them. I hope that I will be setting a good example for them both over the next 5 years as a student who is ambitious and studious, who strives to improve every day .
This assignment was somewhat daunting. I have never had an academic assignment before that asked such personal questions or that required such a deep level of personal reflection. It was a very different kind of academic assignment and thus I believe I was quite apprehensive. This apprehensiveness lead me to procrastinate as I just really wasn't quite sure where to begin. One's life is a very difficult topic to summarize. On the whole, while I enjoyed thinking about some of the questions, I am not really certain that I enjoyed the assignment or liked it. I think that it made me feel to uncomfortable, as on the whole, I am a very private person, so it is rather odd and out of character for me to a) focus this much on myself or b) share such detailed information with others whom I do not know very well.
In terms of the feelings that arose while writing this assignment, I would have to say that they were quite varied. I felt guilty when reminiscing about the boy being bullied at school, I felt sad while contemplating heartache, and I felt proud and hopeful while thinking about my daughters and their future. I think that the assignment also brought about some feelings of nostalgia as I looked back on my childhood, a time now that seems so free from worry and pain. The innocence of childhood is certainly something that should be protected in each and every child for as long as possible.
With respect to the usefulness of the assignment and whether or not I would recommend it to other people, my feelings are mixed. On the one hand, I think that it has been helpful to think about these things. I think that often we do not give a lot of thought to ourselves, especially as women. We are always thinking about others, helping others, and this gives us very little time to focus on ourselves. So in that sense, it was helpful to have a reason or an excuse to be selfish and to wholly concentrate on myself and my own experiences. On the other hand, I think that such an assignment is much to personal and invasive to be something that will be read by another person. Although I suppose it may be possible to gain further insight by sharing such things, as an academic assignment it seems to overstep the boundaries of academia to an extent. Thus, I think I would recommend to future people that they participate in an activity such as this, but perhaps do so within the context of journaling. It would be interesting if the assignment had been to keep a journal on these topics, one that did not necessarily have to be shared with others. I think that if this had been the nature of the assignment, I would have delved deeper into my thoughts and feelings, and that perhaps this would have made the experience even more meaningful and thought provoking. I suppose though that this may be an issue of personal preference, as some people might quite enjoy the opportunity to share their life story with others.
I suppose that what I have included in this assignment would qualify as only scratching the surface, due to my own hesitations in sharing such personal information. What I have left out are the more specific details of my life, the more painful stories or feelings and the things that I do not share even with close friends, let alone complete strangers. It will be interesting to see how other students have reacted to the assignment. I do appreciate having been given the opportunity to think about these questions and ponder…