Legal options can be as comprehensive or as limited as the couple needs and many decisions can be left in the hands of the individuals themselves rather than the court or the judge.
Though divorce coaching is not usually a counseling process the structure and plan of the meetings and non-litigation related planning can clearly assist individuals in their ability to deal with all the property, parenting and some of the future social issues associated with their decision to divorce.
Problems they might not have anticipated may come to light within the process and may allow them to be dealt with a structured and productive manner rather than dealing with them later in the legal system.
One coaching specialist outlines the purpose of divorce coaching through a detailed website, with insight on the productivity possible through divorce coaching. The emphasis is upon self-control through the process.
The fundamental idea of coaching is that most people don't need somebody to do their negotiating for them.
What they need is good sound information that they can use to negotiate on their own.
What they need is a full exploration of the available alternatives when they're stuck on a particular point.
What they need is a good solid understanding of the advantages and disadvantages of a proposal somebody is suggesting.
What they need are some suggestions for how they might negotiate with their spouse or their spouse's lawyer to get what they want.
A good coach can do that, offering you a leg up without charging you an arm and a leg. With most coaches, you'll pay for the time you actually use -- no more, no less. You'll pay on the spot, meaning you don't sign a retainer agreement. When you finish with the coach, you don't owe your coach any money, and the coach doesn't owe you anything. (DivorceInfo.com, 2003, "Coaching In Divorce.")
Another stressed benefit of divorce coaching is the payment situation. Most coaches do not charge you for time you have not used, in legal terms a retainer. This can be an asset that many individuals may see as a huge benefit, as the financial situation is one of the most serious issues at hand.
The potential stress that can be caused by the idea of divorce cost can even challenge the couple to not divorce at all but to simply live apart. Or in some very frustrating cases, living separate lives together because of the inability of one or the other partner to provide for themselves separate of the family home. Leaving every person involved, including the children in a state of limbo that reduces the ability of all involved to move on with their lives and create potential for a different future. In fact the financial benefit of divorce coaching is one of its greatest selling points, toted as one of the most effective ways to keep costs of divorce at a minimum.
You have come to the realization that your marriage isn't working and are considering a divorce. It's a stressful time, filled with emotional and financial worries. On the financial side, probably the biggest expense of divorce is the attorney's fees... "Hire a Lawyer as a Coach." Even if you handle your own divorce, there may be times when you need help from an attorney. However, instead of turning the whole case over to a lawyer, you may be able to buy advice by the hour to help you over rough spots. Using lawyers as self-help law "coaches" is the coming trend; it lets you buy the expertise you need and avoid the paper-shuffling and lawyers' attitudes you don't. (Collins & Wall, 2004, Keeping Legal Fees Down)
It seems that regardless of the complexity of the divorce situation coaching can assist the clients in their ability to retain control, financially, emotionally and legally.
Divorce coaching may seem like a specialized and confusing new legal process, yet it is proving to be one of the most effective solutions for the divorce crisis. If done correctly it eases transitions for both adults and children. Additionally, the reduced stress and financial savings can help ease the transition into a new life, for all involved. The reduced bitterness associated with the feelings of being out of control, and voiceless within the divorce process can also clearly reduce the common bitter emotional legacy of divorce. Using a structured system of divorce coaching will clearly be the wave of the future for many divorcing couples.
The Coalition for Collaborative Divorce. (2001) "Divorce Coaches Help Couples
Through Emotional Process: June 28, 2001." retrieved January 1, 2004 at http://www.nocourtdivorce.com/news_text.phtml?pressID=30.
Collins V.F. & Wall G. (2004) "Keeping Legal Fees Down." Retrieved at http://www.lectlaw.com/files/fam09.htm.
DivorceInfo.com, (2003) "Coaching In Divorce." Retrieved January 1, 2004 at http://www.divorceinfo.com/coaching.htm.
Riley, G. (1991). Divorce: An American Tradition. Lincoln, NE: University of Nebraska Press.
Wiere P.B. & Gregson W. (2004) "The Coallition for Colaberative Divorce.
Articles on Divorce: General Mediation and Divorce Coaching." retrieved January 1, 2004 at http://www.nocourtdivorce.com/articles_text.phtml?articleID=13.