Harley's Book "His Needs, Her

SAMPLE EXCERPT:

However, God ordained the marriage institution for His objective. The focus of trying to restore a marriage must always be premised on God's desires looking to discover His Will for all partners in a union. As Jesus demonstrated, our search for sustenance must not surpass our wish to do God's will. When an individual concentrates on God, they will truly be able to provide the "needs" of their partner. Besides leaving out the significance of concentrating on Jesus, Harley's equation discounts the religious part as a cause of marital unfaithfulness. All human beings are "fallen" (Rom. 3:23); this is not the sole reason individuals make traitorous, rebellious, and deceitful acts; this is merely the situation that gives individuals a tendency toward such activities. In order to be faithful emotionally and physically, one partner must believe a lie: "that individual is better for you, and you are entitled to better." The Holy bible clearly declares that no one spreading such lies may be forgiven. Harley forgets this impact in his work.

The author's marriage equation has discounted the need for all partners to have an appropriate status before God. His formula discredits the need to understand God's unconditional love. In addition, Harley's concepts neglect the religious influences that are the result of humanity's fallen nature along with Satan's immediate efforts to disrupt God's creation. Moreover, Harley's guide seems to be almost tolerant of adulterous affairs. While Harley needs to be ahead in his discussion about marital unfaithfulness, his genuine conversation of matters goes too far, showing that affairs are inevitable if personal emotional needs are not being met. This might be a frustrating feeling for a counselor who has seen several divorces and affairs. However, even the bleakest circumstance has an opportunity of flourishing. Nothing is impossible with God (Luke 1:37); He can save, restore, and enhance any marriage circumstance.

Evaluation

From a personal perspective, the first point that I can take away from Harley's book is a necessity of meeting spousal needs. It is clear and understandable that every person has needs and people working in full-time Religious service especially comprehends this. From a counseling point of reference, after counseling partners that are experiencing a possible divorce, we can believe that only "certain" individuals have to face the potential horrors of infidelity in marriage. The book enlightens the reader that various shattering situations may strike at the foundations of even the most stable marriages. With this knowledge, the only sensible step to take from the book is to implement many of the realistic principles put forth by Harley in his work with excellent truthfulness in marriage relationships. Harley's book contains sensible advice to prevent and resolve the regular problems that lead to extramarital affairs. His pragmatic approach to marriage emphasizes the behavior adoption rather than nature transformation. His book motivates spouses to be joyful, self-controlled, loving, kind, but he does not recognize the fact that these are the fruits of the Holy Spirit (Galatians 5:222-23). The book's emphasis on numerous needs of wife and husband is of immense help in promoting the healthiness of a marriage relationship.

Another personal point derived from this work is the understanding of how different women and men truly are. This is obvious and is well-known to many. In fact, many married partners must be reminded repeatedly. Moreover, by taking into account how different their partner is from them and putting into exercise the first and second biggest commandment, then Harley's lesson of fulfilling the emotional needs of partners will lastly come to fruition. However, this can only come to satisfaction is if each partner is willing to pursue the satisfaction of their partners needs genuinely and whole-heartily over the satisfaction of their personal needs. Consequently, his and her needs will both be met.

Conclusion

In the book, Harley offers outstanding practical examples, beneficial advices, and useful tools for individuals who wish to rescue their marriage, strengthen their marriage, rebuild their marriage and people in the industry of marriage counseling. Moreover, this book entails personal stories that keep the reader engaged, notifying the reader about the impacts of people's actions when they violate the covenant of marriage. Therefore, this book has outlined…